Over the last few years, I worked fervently at creating a personal system to help me scale exponentially and to feel completely centered. This led to a very robust daily regimen which consisted of newfound habits that were based around learning and self-care, so I could then be the best husband, father and leader to those who depend on me to ‘show up’ daily.
The intention was to focus on what was most important, while also expanding my physical, mental and spiritual energy tanks.
But something was missing. I could feel myself trip up, stumble and make decisions that led to subpar outcomes.
I needed to pause, recalibrate and make necessary adjustments in order to take two steps forward.
However, change isn’t easy. But my desire grow outweighed the possible outcomes of continuing on and living life with the same caliber of outcomes.
It was then I researched, developed and activated personal guardrails in my life.
The purpose of personal guardrails is to establish boundaries that help protect ourselves from harmful decisions that ultimately lead to negative consequences. Personal guardrails are important because they help force us to proactively see around corners and future outcomes. They also promote self-awareness, self-discipline and self-care which are all key elements to growth and well-being.
By honoring and sticking to our guardrails, we can live a healthier and more fulfilling life.

Below are several reasons why personal guardrails are important:
1. Guardrails help us stay focused on our goals. When we stick to our boundaries, we prove to ourselves that we have the discipline to control our behavior and make healthy choices. By practicing self-discipline, we can build self-confidence and self-efficacy, which can have positive effects in many areas of our lives.
2. They develop logic and critical thinking skills. When we start with the end in mind (our personal brand, reputation, character, future state) it makes us audit every decision through a new lens and decide if that decision helps us move forward toward our desired end state.
3. Assistance in avoiding negative consequences. By establishing boundaries, we can avoid situations that might lead to negative outcomes, such as addiction or financial troubles.
4. Guardrails promote mental and emotional health. When individuals set healthy boundaries in their relationships, they can avoid situations that might trigger anxiety, stress, or other negative emotions. By prioritizing their emotional well-being, individuals can improve their mental health and reduce their risk of developing conditions like anxiety or depression.
5. Guardrails help us maintain balance. When we set limits on our time, energy, and resources, we can ensure we are keeping the main things the main things – including our families, self-development, work, relationships, and personal hobbies or interests. By doing so, we can avoid burnout, reduce stress, and maintain a sense of overall well-being.
Guardrails look differently for everyone. Some like clear cut ‘rules’ (no more than two cocktails when with co-workers, be home by midnight, etc.)
Psychologically, in the moment, ‘Set rules’ for me aren’t as beneficial as what they may be for others.
Instead, I audit everything through four different specific questions that I can easily recall and implement in the moment.
These questions then afford me the opportunity to think quickly (and deeper) about any given decision that presents itself.
Considerations for when designing your own guardrails:
- It takes so much time, effort and energy to build a strong reputation and personal brand. It takes only on wrong move or series of questionable decisions to bring it all down. Guardrails aren’t a comprehensive insurance plan, but they should establish the foundation for preventing out of character moments.
- In real time, things happen quickly. Often, you don’t have minutes or hours to make a decision. You need to be ready to make decisions in the matter of seconds. If your guardrails are too complex, you’re S.O.L. and likely won’t have the time to completely audit the split-second decision against all your considerations. Make your guardrails simple and true to who you are. In this case, simple is genius.
- Your guardrails need to be consistent with who you are – both personally and professionally. You shouldn’t want or need two separate sets of guardrails for personal and professional decisions. Let your guardrails reflect your character and belief system, and your reputation should naturally follow over time.
While oftentimes these guardrails can be private – I wanted to extend an olive branch to show what theoretically these could look like. Again, these need to be tailored towards how your brain thinks and processes information.
For me, I want to quickly place a decision up against four quick questions:
1. Is the decision a reflection of my faith?
Our actions have the ability to make religion and spirituality attractive. Are the actions that I am taking those that represent my faith? If others are able to see that the decision I made was supportive of my faith – morally and ethically sound, I move forward in my audit of all possible considerations.
2. How would my family react?
The next question is would this decision be hurtful to my wife or make her proud? Is whatever I am saying, doing or seeing something that would strengthen our marriage or something that internally doesn’t align with the husband I am or want to become.
The other day my son told me that I am his hero. I do understand that I am most people’s hero, but this one to me is especially special. If I am truly Eli’s hero, if he were to find out 20 years from now about a decision that I made today, would that strengthen or weaken his desire to still call me his hero? I’m incredibly far from perfect and understand that he will (hopefully) give me grace for the little things over time, but I want to make sure I am a strong leader to him to maintain this type of a view in my children’s eyes.
3. Does this align with the person I am becoming?
I have worked so hard to establish daily habits and to continue to grow and evolve. Are the decisions that I am making helping to support these efforts or will it set me back in my pursuit of personal growth? This includes a desire to live a healthier lifestyle, reading/continued education and being a better leader at work.
4. Is this creating positive momentum forward or pulling me back?
Nothing stays constant in this world. Everything is moving in one direction or the other. Said simply, does the decision I am evaluating create positive momentum in the flywheel, or is it something that physically, spiritually, mentally or emotionally is causing me to stay stagnant or possibly regress in my endeavors. Opportunity cost is also an important consideration. Is what I am doing with my time making me better, or would I be better off doing something else that would have greater value and impact on my life.
Hopefully this exercise can be valuable to you. If nothing else, by going through the exercise, it does force you to think about the person you want to become and what the parameters may be necessary to help you stay on track to obtain your personal and professional goals.