Letting Go of Control

It’s hard to let go. This is true in many aspects of life, but when it comes to work many of us don’t just want projects completed, we want them done quickly and accurately. Many decisions are made a level or two above our pay grade, so for those conversations that we can impact we feel the need to make EXTRA sure we are “controlling what we can control”.

However, when we stay too close to every decision and don’t empower those around us, it can quickly erode the enjoyment of the job. It’s an uncomfortable adjustment to let go of the decision making process. Empowering and giving autonomy means giving up the linear path in your own mind (a.k.a. “your way”) to the solution.

Bringing other leaders into the decision making process is more challenging and certainly takes more time, but is essential in order to develop those around you.



First Steps in Empowering Others

The leaders surrounding you are there for a reason. They’re your potential successors and need to be developed. By making simple shifts, you can accelerate their trajectory by giving them the tools they need to maximize their abilities.

1. Reframe your own mindset.

Handing over the headset and allowing others to run the team’s offense can be a mentally challenging adjustment. You are used to making decisions and calling all the plays as you have climbed the ranks. In order to lead leaders, you have to trust their decision making abilities. Giving them control of creating the strategy is one of the best ways for your employees to learn and grow.

2. Offer questions instead of ideas.

This has always been a challenge for me. Instead of asking questions to create healthy dialog, I have always wanted to offer an alternative suggestion or my own advice. However, when you ask questions it helps expand and stretch your leadership team’s critical thinking capacity. It makes them think in new ways. Asking questions also helps them consider additional outcomes in future decisions that need to be made.

3. Listen intently.

Your leaders will share their rationale, thoughts and decision making process. Are you mentally present or are you already crafting your case as to what needs to change? By listening intently, it allows you to ask better questions. When your team knows you care to listen, it also builds credibility and trust.

4. Ease into the shift.

You don’t have to throw your leaders into the water without a life vest in order for them to learn to swim. Gradually help them as they develop their abilities.  By simply reviewing their decisions with them, it will give both parties comfort and exposure to how they arrived at their conclusion. If they ask for your input, rather than giving them the exact answer, ask them what they would do. Once they explain, you can offer your analysis and share your strategy or approach as to how you would make that decision. Over time, positively reinforce as you see growth in their process.

4. Learn to say “YES!”.

This too is going to be hard. Remember Jim Carey in “Liar Liar” when he could no longer tell lies?  It’s kind of like that, but not at all. You may know a better way. Guess what? It’s okay! Give them an opportunity to embrace their own vision and use some of their own creativity.

“Value ability more than experience, and put people in roles that require more of them than they know they have in them.” – Bob Iger

Develop The Decision Making Framework

So how do we facilitate better conversations, create the right environment for input, build healthy dialog amongst stakeholders and learn to give your leaders space to create?

As a leader, you should pick up the “What” (the opportunity/challenge) and the “Why” (why it’s important). Then, let go of the “How” (strategy to get there).

When the “what” and the “why” are clearly established, it is then much easier for the team members to then follow with the strategy on how to get there.

  • Clearly communicate with the team what needs to be accomplished and why.
  • Focus on the desired outcome and the goal of the project. When the goal is unclear, it can lead to frustration and confusion.
  • Articulate what factors are important in the decision making process. Just because you are giving up control of the strategy doesn’t mean you should disregard mentioning important factors to consider. Be clear with expectations.
  • Allow others to build the strategy, but only after the above criteria are understood and acknowledged.
  • Understand there is a common goal, but not singular path. Your leaders think differently than you. This is a good thing. Celebrate diversity in this area as over time it will make everyone better. When the leader embraces creativity, teams can learn from each other in a number of ways.
  • Create pre-defined check points along the way to review progress. By having regular follow-up, it helps the individual stay on course.

When the decision making framework is established, it is now time for your leaders to create the strategy. It doesn’t matter if it is an individual making the decision or a team of individuals involved in the strategy creation process, this is where you give autonomy and individuals can develop and grow.


Hire people who are smart and hardworking, put those people in positions of big responsibility, and then give them the support and autonomy needed to do the job.


Outcomes of Successful Decision Making Framework

  • It helps remove emotions from the conversation. It’s tougher for individuals to become offended or hurt that their suggestion isn’t sticking with other group members. It’s not that their experience isn’t valued or idea irrelevant, it just may not accomplish all the goals of the opportunity at hand. Those involved will have better understanding and see why the decision was made, even if they don’t necessarily agree.
  • It facilitates better dialog, as all strategy suggestions can be evaluated through the same lens. Everyone knows what’s important, so “challenges” to ideas can be discussed with the goal in mind. When left in the hands of a team or group, it actually can better allow others to learn from others in the conversation and objectively evaluate each proposed recommendation.
  • It allows you to get out the way. You’ve already identified what the solution needs to entail and what the end product needs to solve. When you get out out of the way it helps reduce micromanaging, frustration, lack of autonomy. Again, this will be a catalyst for professional development.
  • It gives you the mental capacity (and trust) to move on to other action items with confidence, knowing your leaders are going to make decisions with end game in mind. You can hold parties accountable to the non-negotiables which you discussed on the front end.
  • When the individual or team comes back with a proposed solution, it gives the leader a better opportunity to coach and ask questions on if they thought through specific details along the way. Again, this helps with the development of those who you align with.

Give your leadership or management team the responsibility to think.  It will lead to increased engagement and overall job satisfaction. You’ll be surprised with what they are able to create.

Finally, let small failures lead to great success. Your team members are going to stub their toes and have challenges along the way. As long as you don’t allow them to epically fail, they are going to grow significantly as a result of failure. Over time, these learning lessons will be a springboard to their growth and ability to move the business forward.

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