In 2014, I was awarded an opportunity to help build a brand-new department within the Dallas Mavericks. Their Ticket Sales & Service department had been around for many years, but they never had a staff hyper-focused on selling the Premium inventory at the American Airlines Center. As the incoming Manager of their new Premium Sales department, I was working with a blank canvass and had an opportunity to truly leave my fingerprints on an organization that was owned by a phenomenal business leader – Mark Cuban.
After several months of working in my new role with the Mavs, I was bothered by an internal thought which seemed to persistently stay at the forefront of my mind. Although I had taken a step forward in my career by overseeing and leading a senior-level Premium Sales team, I had a title of “Manager” in my new role, which was inferior (when using our industry’s tape measure) to my old title with the Rangers where I was a “Director”.
“You’re right where you are supposed to be.”
Doc Rivers – Head Coach, Los Angeles Clippers
Although silly to think about now, nearly six years later, I couldn’t shake this negative thought. It was a distraction that led me to call numerous friends and colleagues in the industry, seeking approval, counsel and positive re-affirmation that my decision to leave the Rangers was indeed justified. I was now anxious and worried about the future (over a title); comparing myself to industry colleagues who were picking up bigger titles and more responsibility.
When I was worrying constantly, I wasn’t able to:
- Lead my team to the best of my ability
- Build with positivity and confidence
- Use my mental energy to create, build and innovate
- Manage my time and resources efficiently
- Get out of my own way
Fortunately, nearly six months later, everything course corrected when I was unexpectedly recruited by the Mets and was brought on board as a Sr. Director, overseeing members of management and aligning with some of the best leaders in the industry. Things worked themselves out, as they most often times do. Obviously I couldn’t see how things were going to play out while I was with the Mavericks, but I shouldn’t have been so caught up in worrying about it. It didn’t help anything, and I didn’t get one step closer to where I wanted to be by thinking about it. When I reflect on my time with the Mavs, I recognize how much better I could have been at my role had I simply focused on the task at hand.
“Attack your current job, and better ones will present themselves. If you are working on your craft and evolving, new opportunities will find you!”
– Brendan Donahue, 52 Weeks of Hustle Podcast by Travis Apple
Tips to Avoid Anxiety and Negative Thoughts by Staying Present
Learning to recognize thoughts as just thoughts, and living more in the present moment was a new practice that was introduced to me a couple years ago. By introducing new daily habits to your daily regimen that help concentrate on gratefulness and better awarenesses, you can quickly make huge strides into living a much more enjoyable life and become a better version of yourself.
What does “Staying Present” mean?
- Staying present is a practice needed to develop the power of awareness.
- By becoming more aware, you are able detect the obvious negative thought patterns you have throughout the course of the day and the frequency in which it happens.
- Once these patterns are more easily identified, it becomes easier to disregard, eliminate and distance yourself from irrational thoughts – creating a healthier overall mindset.
DAILY practices to increase awareness and create positive thinking
- Daily meditation for 10-20 minutes (I would highly recommend the apps Headspace and Calm).
- Start a gratitude journal, highlighting the “highs” of the day, what keystone habits are working, and listing out three things you are grateful for.
- 8-10 hours of sleep – you need to keep your energy tanks full (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual).
- Reduce/eliminate alcohol intake.
- Daily exercise.
Replacing the Negative Thought Patterns (In the moment)
- Breathe and relax when an issue or bad thought arises. Use new skillsets acquired from meditation to isolate the issue and not let it spiral out of control.
- Recognize in the moment that most decisions and situations are insignificant and will not dictate outcomes of significant magnitude in your life.
- Appreciate the obstacle as an opportunity to problem solve and personally develop. (i.e. controlling emotions & body language, clearly articulating and rationalizing your point of view, speaking to various stakeholders, managing up, etc.)
- Separate yourself from that negative thought. Teach yourself to identify if the thought is rational or logical. If it is legitimate, take the time to appropriately address the concern. If it’s exaggerated, made up and created in your head – learn to let that thought go and resist jumping on that destructive train.
When are you present?
- “You don’t get to decide when you are present. You are present when someone else says you are.” –Simon Sinek
- When practicing to become more aware, the beneficiaries are oftentimes the others we care about, not just ourselves. We practice staying present to better serve others, so when we are sitting across the table from the other party we are focused entirely on their needs in the current moment.
- You are present when afterwards the other person who you are speaking with can honestly say you were focused on listening intently to them—eliminating distractions, (such as thinking about framing your own point of view) or interrupting them throughout the conversation.
Benefits of Staying Present
- Heightened appreciation and gratitude for your personal current situation.
- Enhanced mindset to focus clearly on owning the day.
- Greater opportunity to lead, listen and build relationships.
- Increased ability to focus on areas to grow personally and professionally in current environment.
- Reduced anxiety about future circumstances.
Count your blessings, enjoy those in your life and focus on developing right where you are today. There are so many moments in life you will miss if you get too wound up about where you want to be in the future. Things happen for a reason, and you are right where you need to be during this season of your life. Learn to recognize how you are developing and growing in the current moment and go all in on developing the right mindset. When you shift your mindset and stay present, you will start seeing new opportunities that are in front of you and you will enjoy life so much more.
Dwelling on the past can lead to a depressed state of mind. Worrying about the future can lead to an anxious state of mind. Being grateful what you have allows you to grow where you are presently planted. Enjoy the journey and be thankful for the opportunity you have in front of you today!